This is such a important and comprehensive matter. So much could be said, so forgive the lack of detail for the sake of brevity and generalities. All of these themes discussed below deserve subject space of their own, and it is my hope that parents and other concerned citizens join us on the forums to discuss these things, and continue on in their own communities forming parental support groups with information learned. (
http://culdiantrust.org/culdianforums/index.php?board=16.0 ) And in the future we hope to provide material assisting both parents and children in their shared and mutual development.
It really is all about the parenting, first and foremost. Love, discipline, guidance, trust, respect, instilled ethics, promotion of their own unique creativity, TIME etc. are the essential balance of requirements to raise healthy, happy, well-adjusted children. And the parent must be themselves the ideal person they wish their children to be. If you fight with your spouse, for example, how can you tell your child not to fight with other children? Every emotion, action, attitude, and even thought can be impressed upon a young mind. The consequences of which, for good or ill, are imprinted upon the subconscious lasting years or a lifetime. A casual phrase uttered soon forgotten by you, can be a lynchpin of childhood memory and later motivational factor for good or ill.
Each and every child is different, and it is of the utmost importance to raise each one according to their needs. One might need spanking occasionally, while another requires only a disappointed look, or a timeout. One might need to be taught respect, and another charity, and so on… In the later preteen, and especially teenage years, TRUST between parent and child is an essential component. If you don’t want your child lying or hiding things from you, you musn’t lie or hide things from your children. This hypocritical factor, which also contains the ‘do as I say, not as I do’ mentality, simply does not compute in a young, open, and inquisitive mind. Distrust is bred, and imbalance and family dysfunction compounds. None of this is easy, of course, and I can only speak to generalities in this type of setting; all individuals and challenges require specific solutions.
But none of this is possible without time and attention in a healthy home. Of course, the traditional setting of the natural biological mother and father in the home is ideal. Marital problems result in child raising problems, and generally speaking, the happier and healthier the marriage, the happier and healthier the children. Never have children in a dysfunctional relationship thinking this will solve relationship issues; invariably it compounds them, and punishes an innocent child by bringing them into an unhealthy environment. And what could be more selfish than bringing a helpless, innocent, and completely dependent baby into this world to solve YOUR problems?!?!
As far as the school issues go with programs like Common Core… it is wise to educate yourself on the local school’s curriculum, as well as HOW the child is being taught. Is the child being taught WHAT to think (and thus potentially opposing home and traditional values), or is your child being taught HOW to think in an encouraging and healthy setting with the tools required to thrive in society? If it is the former, I would consider private school options, and even home schooling. Again, this requires time and sacrifice, but this should be a given, as what more important uses of your time and money are there besides children and family in general? If you really care about changing the world, you yourself becoming the best spouse, parent, and neighbor is the most surefire way to contribute to this end that has a chance of working in the long run. It is slow and difficult, but balance, happiness and health, just like imbalance and disease, are infectious. This is your legacy of what you leave to the world through a better future generation, and a better present one as those in your own communities look to you as an example and leader for how to improve their own lives.
Again, much more can be said on this subject specifically, and this just deals with generalities. Hopefully those of you who are parents will look to work together and support one another both on the forums and in your hometowns.
For truly excellent instruction on these and related issues, all of our Channeled Works (Gwineva I & II, Rowena, and Celestina) are must reads!