Would it be correct then to assume that in our earth incarnations we are drawn by affinity towards those whose state of being was similar to ours in the astral realms?

Yes, and this accounts for many problems, particularly with regard to relationships. Also it explains one of the mechanisms of kharma, for we do not necessarily have to work out kharma with particular individuals; we can work it out with others in the same broad grouping of affinities.